How the DISA Behavioural Traits Handle Saying ‘No’ & How They Can Improve

Saying "NO" in any shape or form can be a challenge that varies depending on our natural behavioural tendencies.

The DISA model reveals how different behaviours influence boundary setting. Whether it’s a face-to-face conversation, a text, or an email, tailoring your response can make all the difference in maintaining strong relationships while protecting your boundaries.

Red - Dominant 

Strengths and Challenges:

Red behaviours are assertive, results-oriented and goal-focused. Saying "no" typically comes easily for them because they value efficiency and results. However, their straightforward approach can sometimes be perceived as abrupt or dismissive.

How to Improve:

To soften their delivery while remaining clear, Reds should include a brief explanation or alternative solution.

Face-to-Face:
“I can’t commit to this right now because I’m prioritising X, but I’d be happy to revisit it when my workload clears.”

Email:
Subject: Prioritisation of Commitments
"Thank you for considering me for this task. Unfortunately, my current priorities mean I can’t commit to this at the moment. I recommend John who might be able to help.”

Text:
“Thanks for thinking of me! I can’t take this on right now, but let’s reconnect when I have more capacity.”

Yellow - Influential 

Strengths and Challenges:

Yellow behaviours thrive on connection and positivity. Their fear of disappointing others often leads to overcommitting, making “no” a difficult word for them to say.

How to Improve:

Yellows can maintain their warmth while setting boundaries by expressing gratitude and suggesting alternatives.

Face-to-Face:
“I’d love to help, but I’m really stretched right now. Let’s find another way to tackle this together.”

Email:
Subject: Regretfully Unable to Assist This Time
"Hi Lynn, I really appreciate you reaching out to me. As much as I’d love to help, I’m at capacity right now. Please let me know if we can explore other options in the future!"

Text:
“Hey Lynn, I’d love to help, but I can’t take this on right now. Let’s catch up soon to discuss it further!”
 

Green - Steadfast 

Strengths and Challenges:

Green behaviours are loyal, supportive, and harmony driven. They avoid saying "no" to prevent upsetting others, often taking on too much to keep the peace. This can lead to stress and burnout as they prioritise others’ needs over their own.

How to Improve:

Greens can frame their refusals with kindness and reassurance. A response like, “I wish I could help, but I can’t take this on right now. I’m happy to help you find another solution,” preserves relationships while protecting their boundaries.

Face-to-Face:
“I really wish I could help, but I can’t take this on right now. I want to make sure you’re supported though. Let’s find someone who can help.”

Email:
Subject: Unable to Assist Right Now
"Hi Sean, I hope you’re doing well. I’d really love to help, but unfortunately, I’m not able to commit to this at the moment. Please let me know if I can assist in another way or at a later date.”

Text:
“Hi Sean, I’m sorry, I can’t help with this right now, but let’s figure out a solution together!”
 

Blue - Analytical 

Strengths and Challenges:

Blue behaviours are precise, methodical, and logical. They may hesitate to say "no" unless they feel they have solid reasoning, which can lead to overthinking or delayed responses.

How to Improve:

Blues should focus on being concise and factual in their refusals, offering clear explanations where needed.

Face-to-Face:
“Based on my current workload, I’m unable to take this on right now. Thank you for understanding.”

Email:
Subject: Unable to Assist – Current Workload
"Dear Michael, After reviewing my current commitments, I regret to inform you that I won’t be able to assist with this task. Thank you for considering me, and please feel free to reach out in the future for other opportunities.”

Text:
“Hi Michael, I can’t take this on due to my current workload. I appreciate your understanding!”
 

Understanding how your behavioural tendencies influence your ability to say "no" helps you communicate with greater confidence and empathy. By adapting your approach to align with both your needs and those of others, you can build stronger relationships while maintaining your boundaries.

At BMBYou, we’re experts in helping individuals and organisations unlock their full potential using behavioural insights like the DISA model. If you’re ready to empower your team and enhance communication across the board, visit www.bmbyou.com often or schedule a no obligation chat.