Why Saying ‘I’ Instead of ‘We’ in an Interview is a Skill You Must Master
In education and corporate learning, we’re taught that teamwork is everything. From school to the workplace, phrases like “There’s no ‘I’ in team” are drilled into us.
“There’s no ‘I’ in team”
So, when it comes to interviews, shifting from “we” to “I” can feel strange, maybe even selfish. But here’s the truth, mastering this skill isn’t about arrogance. It’s about making sure the interviewer knows what you bring to the table.
I’ll always be grateful to my friend and colleague Steve Blackwell for helping me realise this. His advice pushed me to get comfortable with highlighting my own impact. This is something that never felt natural to me.
Why Does It Feel Uncomfortable to Say ‘I’?
For those of us working in FE, HE, HR, or L&D, success is rarely a solo effort. Whether it's running a training programme, designing a curriculum or leading a project, we’re used to team achievements. It’s no wonder we struggle to step away from “we” when talking about our work.
The DISA Behavioural Model (Erikson, 2017) helps explain why this shift is tricky for different people:
Red (Dominant): Reds take credit easily but may forget to acknowledge others.
Yellow (Influential): Yellows love storytelling and tend to say we because it feels more engaging.
Green (Steady): Greens avoid the spotlight and feel awkward talking about their own successes.
Blue (Analytical): Blues focus on details but can struggle to make their impact sound engaging.
Understanding your own primary behavioural traits can help you work through that discomfort.
Why Is This Especially Hard for Neurodiverse Individuals?
If you have ADHD, like myself, this becomes even more tough. Our brains thrive on collaboration. We hyperfocus on the bigger picture, which means we often see success as a team effort rather than recognising our own role.
Then there’s rejection sensitivity, which makes self promotion feel risky. 'Like we’re bragging' (Dodson, 2020). And let’s not forget memory challenges. Recalling exactly what we did as an individual can be hard when our brain naturally links events together in a non linear way (Barkley, 2019).
That’s why preparation is key. Using a structure like STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) can help us feel more confident when describing our contributions.
Why Does ‘I’ Matter in Interviews?
Hiring managers need to know what you did, not just what the team achieved. If you only say we, they might wonder:
- Did you lead or just participate?
- What skills do you personally bring?
- Can you clearly explain your impact?
Here’s an example of how a response can change:
Interviewer: Tell me about a time you improved a training programme.
Candidate (Green-leaning response): Well, as a team, we redesigned our onboarding, which made it more engaging.
Interviewer: And what was your role?
Candidate: I helped out with some of the changes.
Now, let’s refine that answer:
Candidate: I redesigned the onboarding materials and introduced interactive elements, which increased engagement by 25%.
See the difference? The second version clearly highlights the candidate’s personal contribution.
How to Get Better at Using ‘I’
Reframe Your Thinking – Saying I isn’t about taking all the credit. It’s about showing what you bring.
Be Specific – Instead of we improved the process, say I led a process change that cut admin time by 30%.
Use STAR – Structure your responses around Situation, Task, Action, and Result for clarity.
Record Yourself – Notice how often you say we and swap in I where appropriate.
Ask for Feedback – A mentor or coach can help you refine your responses.
Final Thoughts
Talking about your achievements can feel uncomfortable, but it’s not selfish, it’s smart. If you don’t own your success, who will?
If, like me, you’ve had to unlearn the habit of always saying ‘we’, know that you’re not alone. It takes practice, but it’s worth it. And I’ll always be grateful to Steve for helping me recognise that.
So, what’s your take? How do you balance confidence and humility in interviews? Let’s discuss!
📢 #bmbyou #CareerSuccess #LDPerspectives #FE #HE #InterviewSkills #Neurodiversity
References
Barkley, R. A. (2019) Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents. New York: Guilford Publications.
Dodson, W. (2020) ADHD: The Owner's Manual: How to Optimize the Brain to Improve Attention and Emotional Regulation. New York: Sterling Publishing.
Erikson, T. (2017) Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behaviour. London: Vermilion.
Salas, E., Reyes, D. L. and McDaniel, S. H. (2018) ‘The Science of Training and Development in Organizations: What Matters in Practice’, Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(2), pp. 74-101.